The Exciting Life and "Slightly Catastrophic" Adventures of "Yours Truly" - a special guy from the Motor City.

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Tuesday, November 09, 2004

It's been too long.... 

What can I say... I'm an asshole.

For so long, this blog was my entire reason for existence (time for a bit of dramatism isn't it?). Since June, a lot has happened in my life - a lot of good shit. Boys have come and gone (well only 1), I finally got my dream job, I'm two payments away from being completely out of debt (except those damn school loans!!!), and well LIFE IS GOOD!

I am completely and utterly swamped with stuff to do. Between a crazy project at work, chairing a "Holiday Extravaganza", and working my second job at Club Monaco I don't have time to even think about anything else. Believe it or not... in all this craziness I managed to study and pass the GMAT (so I am starting grad school in the Spring), make some new friends and drink like a fish (it's light beer though!)

I can't promise consistent updates, however, I am going to try and get back on the blogger road. My blog "broke down", but as a wise man once sang... "The BITCH is BACK"!

Love and Kisses to all who have waited patiently for my revival tour!

- Jigga J

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Thursday, June 24, 2004

I'm IT! 

Yes, I am officially a Midori IT Girl! If you are interested in seeing my first modeling experience (of my adult like that is) please check out My Midori Experience from Pronto! last night. In order to find me (and Mark) you'll want to click on the "Midori It Girl Link" on the front page, then click on the Midori It Girls link. You will want to choose Detroit as the city and then click the link for the 'boys'. Once in there - look for the cute boy in the blue horizontal striped Polo Sport shirt - with the really glossy lips. The picture right after that is Mark. The picture right after that is the homeless man. More to come on that...

With all the craziness going on in my life lately, I decided that it was time to head off to the local watering hole with mark and indulge in some good fun. I also had an ulterior motive to apply for a server position as well to offset some of my financial woes. As you might be able to tell from the picture, I never made it to the server station to ask for the application. Instead I indulged in some green devil juice (free shots from the Midori hosts) and some good ole sassy fun.

I met up with Mark around 8:30pm. We chatted for a bit about life and the attempted pursuit of happiness (amidst all the bullshit roadblocks). After about ten minutes I was offered my first shot of Midori. LET THE GAMES BEGIN! Soon thereafter Mark bought me my first beer.

Being that Wednesday nights are rather slow at Pronto!, Mark and I didn't have much scenery to admire. In fact, I would be willing to bet all the money in my checking account ($.29) that we were the scenery!!! It wasn't soon thereafter that my modeling career officially began.

One of the striking Midori girls asked me if I would be interested in posing for them on the bus. I insisted that Mark pose as well. After all, if I am going to become a Kmart underwear model as well as pose for Playgirl, I need to work on my 'look'. After signing my life away to Midori, I was in the studio bus. This modern piece of machinery included a plethora of advanced technological photo shoot equipment, some really uncomfortable chairs, a lighting design that would make any disco jealous, a make-up artist, a photographer and a lot of free lip gloss samples. Ohh yeah, now it included Mark and I. Two raving fags waiting for their "big break". Our dreams were soon to become true!

After checking out everything I possibly could in the bus - including the photographer, my attention was focused on the crowd outside. I felt famous, if just for an instant. The lights, my own personal trailer, someone to do my make-up, and of course my moral support (Mark), I just imagined how wonderful life would be if I had my own Midori bus. The only thing I would personally change is all the GREEN stuff. Everything was green. The lights were green. The backdrop was green. The fucking chairs were green. I really needed some blue. Thankfully I was wearing enough blue to keep me sane.

After my ever so slight make-up adjustment was made, I applied my lip-gloss and planted my ass firmly in the "magic chair". This was the magic chair that was going to show the world that I am beautiful dammit! After four incredible clicks the camera, my fifteen seconds of fame was over. I guess for the next 15 seconds I would have to live vicariously through Mark's fame - which I did. In fact, I enjoyed Mark's fame sooo much, that he owes his two shot stardom to me. The photographer was so impressed with Mark's second pose that stopped shooting. After all, once you achieve perfection why continue? Mark is like the movie voiceover guy.... his voice is everywhere, he gets paid a TON of money, and all he does is sit down, record a voiceover one time and he is out the door. MUST BE NICE. How do I get that job? GOT VOICE?

When it was time to step off the trailer, I was fully expecting to be bombarded by fans. I struggled through the crowd (since my body guard JRo was not with me), stating "see you in New York kids". Ohh, did I forget to mention the homeless man from the bus? Yeah... he's a boxer. Ohh, and he smells ROTTEN. Please see photo next to Mark's. Stinky is to Boxing as Ben Wallace is to Basketball. I have a feeling that Ben washes that fro though. To all the ladies out there... Stinky is single and looking for a good home. As a matter of fact he even attempted to remove his shirt on the bus... so I've seen his bod. Hot like a locker room of young lads in heat... and just as smelly as their dirty laundry. I have a feeling that Stinky was just in it for the free shots and the lip-gloss samples. After all, homeless people need shiny lips too!

Back in the bar, Mark and I instantly became popular with the natives. I've honestly never had so much attention at Pronto! in my entire life. People I have seen many times in the past actually struck up conversation with me. Such a wonderful concept. I couldn't help but wonder if fame was getting to my head. Then I realized... no. I'm just fucking fabulous. With a hot guy like Mark sitting next to me, people definitely had to wonder what our 'story' is. The joys of being popular.

Several shots and drinks later, I now had a boa wrapped around my neck (Mark did too). I remember complaining to the shot girl that I didn't get my free boa and that Mark and I would really like to have one. Next thing you know, BAM. An itchy, scratchy green (Yes, GREEN) feathery accessory was fluttering every so gently in the breeze of the smoke filled bar. I find it amazing that in today's day and age, we haven't found a way to properly ventilate a bar. OHHH SHIT, we have. I guess Pronto! didn't get the memo.

Speaking of memo's, the guy who tried to snatch my boa away, didn't get the memo that it is rude to remove someone's belongings from them without asking permission first. Apparently he didn't realize that the boa wrapped around my neck was mine and not his. Despite Mark's comments about me being a whore, I was happy about selling my boa for a beer. After all, if I were interested in green, itchy and ever so scratchy things, I'd call my favorite Leprechaun Troll and ask to borrow his costume.

I have a feeling that I was a little intoxicated by the end of the night. I was rather friendly with a lot of people that I barely know, and VERY friendly with a few people that I would like to really get to know better. If I offended or insulted you last night, ooops. It's all in good fun. Ohhh, and to the boys that I ever so 'gently' gave my number too...

YOU BETTER FUCKING CALL ME! After all I could have some very fun times with a bi guy, and if I am ballsy enough to interrupt a date just to give you my number, I deserve a call.

Isn't life just too fun sometimes?

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Friday, June 18, 2004

The Power of Television 

Ahh the joys of good TV.

Television never ceases to amaze me. For the first time in I can't remember how long, I was able to sit down and watch TV, alone, in my own living room. I've been so busy lately doing 'stuff' to try and keep myself 'busy', that I just haven't had much time for anything.

So here I was sitting on my couch watching 'Without a Trace' - a show JRo got me hooked on. Since I am ALWAYS thinking, I was thinking about me, my life, my apartment - just about everything. I've been really down lately, even though it may not be noticeable to those around me. You all may have noticed only because I haven't been writing much lately. I haven't been chatting much lately either. The sad fact is that the month of June is almost over and I haven't even hit 1,000 used minutes on my phone yet. If you know me folks, you'd know that I would be pushing almost 3,000 minutes by now. If anything I normally use most of my anytime minutes. I haven't even hit three hundred yet. Sometimes I get in these moods where I just have to limit my contact with people - even those I don't know (like you blog readers). Thankfully however this bout of depression isn't impacting my friendships (at least the good ones). I find it really hard to explain, because I really don't have an explanation for it. I've tried before to explain to friends that I lost contact with, why we lost contact, but it never seems to make any sense. I don't intentionally ignore them, it just is a matter of how do explain to someone that you need your space - that is, without offending them or at least being interrogated as to why.

A majority of my woes are financially related. Thankfully I was blessed with a rather good knack for being resourceful ad being responsible. Aside from some slight mistakes in the past (i.e. The Tahoe and charging my entire life my senior year in college on my MasterCard’s), I've been very good with money. My credit suffered a bit when I was fired from my job in early 2002, but I've been on a steady track to improve that in the recent years. My depression and frustration lies mentally with the everlasting question - "What am I doing wrong?"

Maybe I make terrible decisions - maybe I don't. Maybe I am just unlucky, maybe I am not. What really bothers me lately is that I have really even lost the desire to date. I find myself forcing me to want to be around someone else, developing that closeness, living the American dream. I can't even afford groceries; more or less afford to date someone. The worst part of it all is that I have a terrible time saying no. Why? Because I don't really want to say no. So instead of putting myself in a situation where I have to say no... I just avoid the situation completely - or at least try to. This stems beyond dating and in to my friendships as well.

I really HATE the thought of my friends creating memories and doing things without me. It drives me insane. It isn't that I don't have the time to do it; I just don't have the money. The awful part is that we aren't talking about cruises or shopping sprees... we are talking about occasional dinners out and a few drinks here or there at the bar. I know that life could be worse. I could be spending money to have a good time with my buddies instead of paying the bills... or I could not have enough money to even pay the bills. At least at the end of the month every bill is paid in full. The only bill that doesn’t get paid in full is my happiness bill. The one bill I charge myself for and expect payment in full. To bad the minimum payment due is what gets paid.

I make all of this sound like my happiness depends on the amount of money I can spend. That isn't entirely true, but in a way it is true, isn't it? Wouldn't life be grand for everyone if you had the beautiful house in the Hampton's, the Penthouse in the city, the 60' Yacht in the French Riviera? Call me a dreamer (cause that is what I am), but I can't stop myself from thinking about how different my life would be if things were going my way.

If my life were the way I wanted it to be - I would have studied theatre in college instead of advertising. Granted I chose advertising (against my father's advice), but that was only because I thought it would be a big boy job. I was always told that there isn't a living in acting... that you'll be poor with nothing for the rest of your life. Guess what everyone who told me that... I'm poor with nothing and I have a big boy degree. I should have studied acting. At least I would be poor and happy.

I try so hard to do what's right - or what feels right. I can't help but ask myself - at what point is this going to get me anywhere? I busted my ass to get through college in three years to attempt to prove that I am dedicated and hard working. Did it get me anywhere... nada. I worked my ass off for two years trying to be the best project manager alive. Did it get me anywhere... nope. It got me fired. I accepted a low paying, whore of a job in a call center just to get me in the door with EDS. Did it get me anywhere? HELL NO. EDS lost the contract and now I have no hope of every advancing. I've interviewed for dozens of jobs in 4 years... has that gotten me anywhere. Yeah right. I got a temp job once and the shit for nothing, pathetic job I have now. Even better... I can't even get a second job just to earn a little extra cash. I've filled out applications and not a single one of them has called me back. Cool, huh?

It all stems back to - What the hell am I doing wrong? Even though I occasionally run in to mishaps at work, I take on tasks just to do them because I am bored. This is all in hope that I might get recognized for some type of achievement. NOPE. I get a thanks from one person and an "ohh by the way, you forgot to use the customer's name three times in the last call - sorry but you are getting a 75% on this quality score", from the other. Have I mentioned that I have been there going on two years and I have to have a performance evaluation or a raise. Not even a cost of living increase. I went to college folks and I don't even make $12.00 an hour. Odd how writing this is making me tear up. Why?

I was talking to JRO the other day and one of my favorite recent songs came on the radio - The Britney suicide video song. Jenny and I got to talking about why we enjoy the song so much. I got to telling her that the songs means something to me because even though I don't ponder suicide (although I can't say that in the past I haven't) it makes me think a lot about it. There are just times that I wonder what my purpose for being here is. Sometimes I am so disappointed and so frustrated with life that I can't help think about what it would be like if I just weren't here anymore. The one thing that runs through my mind every time is what my funeral would be like. I can't ever see who is there, but the one thing that I always see is my dad standing next to my casket crying, weak in the knees, and my sister with a ghostlike white face just staring in to nowhere. That image alone jumpstarts me back to reality and I realize that nothing in this world could be so awful to me that I would ever put my family - or my friends for that matter - through something like that. I love you guys terribly. For the most part you are what keeps me sane. I just feel like "every time I try to fly, I fall".

For some odd reason whenever I get depressed I can't help but think about how my past has affected my present. What drives me nuts is that I am essentially in love with a figment of my imagination. I'm in love with a man I haven't even seen in four years. I can't help but sit back and think about how happy I was with Christian. Sometimes I go out on my break at work and just sit at the picnic table outside, stare at my phone and just wish that it would ring and it would be him. Sometimes the urge to hear his voice is so strong that I call his house hoping he'll answer. Of course he never does and I never have the courage to leave a message. Several time in the last few months while visiting Jenny and Mandy in Brighton I even drive by the house I know he lives in. Of course I can't build up the courage to stop and knock on the door either. I don't even know why I hang on to the memories I have of him. It may be because no one in four years has come in to my life to replace him. It may be because the last thing he told me was that "he loved me more than anything in this world" and that it scared him. In fact it scared him to death and he wasn't ready for that kind of love. He promised me that one day he would be back. That one day he would be ready. The stupid thing is that I am sure he isn't even close to being the same person I remember him as. I know for a fact that I am for the most part a very different person. I've been through a lot in four years and because of that I am a much stronger person. I just wish I was able to forget. I just want to forget, but then I remember that the memories of a faded love are a part of who I am.

Speaking of that faded love... how about faded passion. A slightly disturbing thing happened a few weeks ago. While at Michigan Pride I ran in to Geoff. In the middle of bullshitting and chatting with him and some friends, he reprimanded me for telling people about our former relationship. WHAT? Am I a fucking embarrassment? It isn't like I was announcing it to the world. Everyone that knows about Geoff and I, know about Geoff and I because they are my closest friends. Of course my close friends know about whom I date and sleep with. I don't necessarily give them intimate details of my sex life, but they generally know who it is and when the 'crime' was committed (so to speak). For the record - FUCK YOU GEOFF! I've lost your number and I sincerely hope that Jenny and Mark have too! Jerk. Have fun on gay.com. AND NO, I'm not bitter. I'm pissed because you are such an uptight, feelingless prick. I do have to thank you for putting a powerful definition in my book for the word "super bottom". Webster thanks you too.

Phew... I feel better.

So anyhow, as I sat and watched TV this evening... I realized at the end of the show that I am damn lucky. I have great friends, a wonderful family (as odd as they may be sometimes - they will ALWAYS be mine), I never have watched my mother get raped, my sister is not a drug addict or in prison, my parents have never murdered anyone, and aside from an occasional overpowering bout of depression - I'm just a normal person struggling to make something of himself in a society where only the strong survive.

Cheers to keeping my dreams alive. I'll always remember the how difficult it was being at the bottom - even one day when I am at the top. Folks, you wait and see - one day Donald Trump will be doing my laundry.

Ohhh... PLEASE bear with me. I haven't been on top of this blog for a while... but I don't intend for it to cease existence any time soon.



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Monday, May 31, 2004

The "HAMBURG"lers 

We now return to your regularly scheduled program...

TWO WHOLE WEEKS WITHOUT A BLOG ENTRY... that's like a day without rain in Michigan. Yes, it has rained EVERYDAY for weeks in the great lakes state. I'm sure this is partially responsible for my recent bout of depression. Thankfully, I overcame, even though I didn't cum at all. Humm, how does that work?

Have you ever heard of a town called Hamburg? Me either, until Saturday night.

This past weekend was full of fun and exciting events with "my girls". Saturday afternoon (after several hours of desperately needed manscaping) I ventured off to Man-da licious's home in Brighton. Brighton is the town JRo and Mandy grew up in. It also happens to be the neighboring town where my favorite and unforgettable ex-boyfriend Christian is from. I arrived shortly after 2. With a feast of food awaiting (and many cold beers), I was greeted by the best two girlfriends a guy could have. A good part of the day was spent enjoying one another's company and catching up on all the latest dramatic life events. Later in the day Corrine, Brian, Chad, Marianne and Dave joined us. I have to admit now that one of the highlights of my day was when Chad showed up. Chad... yumm.

It is quite noticeable when I have a crush on someone because as soon as they enter the room I shut down. My noticeably chatty self quiets to a mute state when cute, sexy boys are around. Chad just happens to be a cute, sexy boy. So... I shut down. Most of the time spent with Chad was when Brian, Jenny, Mandy, Chad and I went out on the boat. I was lying on the stern of the boat and JRo and Chad were sitting in the seat just in front of me. With my crotch level to and directly behind Chad's head, I took those moments to fantasies about how this could possibly be the closest my crotch will ever be to those hot lips. Grrrr. Being the GREAT friend JRo is, she assisted my fantasy be letting me know that Chad wasn't wearing any underwear. Could the day get any better...? YES, it could.

With darkness quickly approaching and Chad's departure inevitable, we all decided that we needed to find someone fun to do. I responded to the group with the first thing that came to mind... Karaoke!!! After a bit of research we finally were in touch with Roger - The Karaoke man- who informed us that he would be playing at the Hamburg pub. Where the fuck is Hamburg you ask? Who the hell knows... but it sounds like incest is frequent and necks are definitely not a pearly shade of white.

After a brief outfit change and a rounding of the troops, we piled in to Jinx and we were off. Winding through the plush roads of Brighton, dodging wild animals and ignorant teenagers, we came to a fork in the road. Right or left? Gayly forward I decide. The parking lot looked great and it had a nice big dumpster calling my name. This is nature calling.... please release the dam and let the water flow. Upon my return to the car after a successful release of urine, I happened upon a bright orange cone. I thought to myself, how perfect it would look right on top of my car. I was sure that people in Hamburg place this big orange ornaments on top of their cars. I was desperate to fit in. After the laughter that filled the air settled down, we were once again off. Choosing to go... left. The evening was already starting to become oddly similar to one of those "choose you own adventure" books.

Miles down the road we came to yet another fork in the road... this time the decision was easy. The sign pointed right... Hamburg was just a hop skip and a jump away. Thankfully the cone was still on the car (however it did fall off the roof and land on the spoiler). Soon enough we spotted it... THE one and only.. Hamburg Pub. It didn't look quite as bad from the outside as we all had anticipated. The parking lot was full of cars trucks... big trucks meaning only one thing... we were gonna have us a GOOD time!

Inside the fine establishment, we found a table right in front of the stage - just where we like it. JRo and I immediately grabbed the songbooks and started right in on what we were going to please the crowd with. It didn't take us all very long however to realize that we were different. Exploring the song books we were choosing fun, full of life songs that we weren't scared to sing out loud, right there at our table. Meanwhile in the background, every other patron was singing along to the array of country western songs that were being sung on stage. I personally didn't take much notice of this until I had finished reviewing the entire book, chosen my songs, and was forced in to what could possibly be labeled as the WORST karaoke I have ever heard. The groupies singing were awful. Normally I don't notice how bad the people are because I am able to sing along with the songs they are singing. Since I am not familiar with a majority of country music, I was at a loss for song. This I am convinced is what made my debut even more spectacular!

Finally it was announced that 'Jason and Jason' were up. Huh? I thought the lady had just smoked too much Mary Jane and screwed up. In the aftermath of the song I realized that it was my fault. IN my excitement I wrote my name twice instead of writing 'Jason and Jenny'. Oops. In with a bang, JRo and I nailed "Summer Nights" and wowed the unsuspecting crowd with our talent. Up next (directly after that song which slightly got us yelled at by the Karaoke Queen) was JRo. She sang "Proud Mary". Boy did she make us proud. I was even more excited that I was able to show off my Tina Turner dance moves.

Once we were in the rotation Jenny and I performed several times. Sadly enough no one else in our group was ready to show Hamburg just how it's done. Our song list...

Jason - Walking After Midnight ~ Patsy Cline
Jason and JRo - You Were Meant for Me ~ Jewel
JRo - Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy ~ Bette Midler
Jason - I Believe ~ Blessed Union of Souls

The most odd we noticed that Hamburg-ites do while karoakeing... they dance. Have you ever seen dancing during karaoke? Only in Hamburg. One of our favorite dancing was a woman we'll call, Stubby. Stubby was a nice woman. A little rough around the edges, but she knew deep down that Soul Train was gonna call one day. She practiced and practiced dancing with her sister Rythymless. Stubby and Rythymless were the superstars of the Hamburg Pub. I honestly have been dreaming my whole life of the day that I would get a chance to dance with a superstar. Mandy and JRo decided to make that dream come true. I succumbed to the pressure given to me by my peers and I danced with Stubby. JRo decided it would be fun to ask Stubby if she would like to dance with me because I was really interested in showing her my moves. With yet another grand ole opry tune belting away in the background, I showed my new love interest a thing or two. We paraded around the dance floor like two songbirds in morning flight. This is the stuff dreams are made of. Even better is that Stubby's breasts were cock level. She even has the courtesy to ask me if I wanted to lead. Aww shucks... can I?

Departing the Hamburg Pub was sad. Thankfully we still had our cone to remember the experience. Lucky for us we didn't get pulled over driving through downtown Brighton with a cone on top of the car. Memories.

Sunday was pretty wicked as well. Mark joined the 'funky bunch' around noon and we spent the day reminiscing about Saturday night, consistently reminding Mark that he missed out on a good time. It was a Sunday well spent with a great group of friends. Sunday evening we decided to go to the movies - a double feature at that. We paid to see "Laws of Attraction" and we snuck in to see Shrek 2 (compliments of MJR theatre in Brighton). Both were excellent flicks that I would recommend to anyone. I finally made it home to my abode around midnight. Exhausted and horny, I slept alone.

Life has been pretty lonely lately. I just feel like something is missing. There is a little spur in Texas who brightens my day - everyday, all day. I can't thank him enough for giving me that boost of morale so desperately needed. I just wish that was readily available closer to home. Unlike Stubby, he is the stuff that dreams are made of.

I am going to try very hard to be more up to date on my blog. I just need some morale boosting in that department as well.


You're a whore and you have sex almost every night with
someone different. You usually hide your feelings
and are really sarcastic. You don't really care
what others think of you. Everyone wants
to have sex with you and be like you.

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Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Busy Like a Beaver 

Crazy. No... More like CRAZY!!! As in, my life lately has been CRAZY!!!!

I feel like I start every blog entry with, "where should I begin". Well, to shake things up a bit... I'll start with....


Where Shall I begin?

I'll start with why I have been so lazy lately. A few days ago I received a message from a mysterious gent (a fellow blogger), who began reading my blog. To make a long story short, we've been chatting ever since. Since I have a way of cursing everything that touches me... I'll keep the name of this fellow journalist a secret. For now, we'll call him "Hot Shot". Hot Shot is fucking awesome. Not only is he awesome, he is totally cute. The only problem is that he lives clear across the United States from me. Ohh well. He makes me laugh and he takes my mind off the little things in life that bother me that aren't important any way. I can't wait to get to know him better. I am following in Hot Toddy's footsteps... my only question is...

... Why can't we find love close to home?

There must be something mysterious and intriguing about people who live hundreds, sometimes thousands of miles away. Do we feel more comfortable opening up to people that can't see us or interact in person with us, just because there is not a fear of rejection - because seriously, if they don't like what you said... well FUCK EM. Who cares? They live hours and hours away anyhow. I can't possibly be the only person who experiences this type of thing. I can't meet a good, decent guy in the proximity of my home, but I can sure as hell find some of the best people online. I mean... look at all of you. You peeps are awesome. I wish there were more of you around here (less you Andy... you couldn't be closer - and yet we still haven't met in person. What is with that?

I've also been really busy trying to find a job. I was supposed to spend my vacation (all of last week) job searching and updating my resume. Did that happen? NO. Of course not. I was on vacation. I had much better things to do. Wednesday I spent all day with JRo driving all across the Michigan country side, stalking boys, hanging out with old friends, lunch with Mark, Dinner with Mandy, boat rides, singing and just being silly. Thursday I spent the day with my step mom. We had lunch, went to see some crazy ass psychic bitch, got a manicure and a pedicure, had dinner and chatted like mad. Friday was... ohhh... Friday. Please refer to then drunken post.

Saturday was Mark's birthday. I spent a majority of the afternoon on the phone with Hot Shot. It wasn't until about 3:30 pm that I decided I needed to get in the shower and start getting ready otherwise I wasn't going to be at Mark's at 6pm. Too bad I still have to buy his birthday gift, card, a cake and stuff for the BBQ. I was finally out the door at 4pm.

Normally I don't have a hard time buying gifts, but to be honest they are normally for women. I searched at least ten stores and even wound up at the mall trying to find the perfect gift. For those of you that don't know, you don't know how anal I am about gift giving. I believe that the gift is more than just a wrapped present, but instead it is a reflection of who I am as well as what you mean to me. I want you to be excited and pleased with your gift. I want more than a thank you, I want an orgasm! LOL

Finally I ended up at Marshall Fields. I literally walked around in circles for half an hour, trying to find something that I loved, that didn't cost $150. Finally I saw it. In the crystal section with the dinnerware, there they were... a set of Mikasa Shot Glasses. I was really excited and I knew that was the gift. With gift and card in hand I was out of the mall. The time... 6:30pm. Oops.

I finally arrived at Mark's a little after seven. My girls were all sitting on the porch waiting for me. Funny thing... Mandy and Jenny also brought a cake too. It worked out nicely because theirs was an ice cream cake and mine was a cream cheese cake. Yummm. Mark opened his gifts (in order of how long they had been wrapped - LOL). He appeared to love them all, which I think we were all thankful for. We had dinner and were off for an interesting night at Gigi's. Overall the celebration was fun, however I think we were all a bit disappointed that they changed the format of the drag show because they were having a Miss Gigi's contest or something along those lines. Beauty Pageants... BLAH. It turned out to be fun when they had the talent portion of the show. YOU GO GIRLS!!! Speaking of drag queens... Hot Shot was a former lady. Love It!!! Maybe he can show me some moves. He he he.

So.... back to the resume/ job hunt. So I broke down on Friday and called someone you will never believe I called. If you recall my drama with the Ryan back in January, then you will know exactly what the story with Ben is. Ben is Ryan's boyfriend. I called Ben!!!! A while back Ben had told me that if I ever needed his assistance in trying to get a job with General Motors that I should give him a buzz. I was really hesitant back then because I thought he might try and track me down and shot me or something. I figured on Friday that if he was going to do that, then he would have done it already.

So I called. He answered and we had a very pleasant conversation. It was wonderful. He told me that he would do what he could and that he had a few things in mind that might possibly work out for me. Odd thing is that everything he mentioned seemed to be out of state. I couldn't help but think that he is interested in getting rid of me. LOL. I always know when Ben is out of town though because my phone rings "private" and that only happens when one person calls me - Ryan. You've got to love drama.

So... with approval of my supervisor, I worked on my resume in between the calls at work today. I am actually pretty impressed with the changes I made. I think my new format is much easier to read. I am confident that this will get me more callbacks. Cross your fingers... will ya? BTW... if anyone knows of any really great jobs, I am all about relocating if necessary. I would really miss my best friends, but I wouldn't be against a move if it meant that I wouldn't have to struggle any more. After all.... what is life without a little adventure?

In case you were all wondering... the Tan is fabulous. I've progressed to level three and I'm using a level two bronzing lotion. I just might actually pass as being an outdoors kinda guy this summer! Way exciting.

I've been taking notes recently on things I'd like to blog about that have happened in the past. I've got some good things down. If you have anything you'd like to hear about... let me know. Love you all.

Ta Ta...

**muah** to HOT SHOT ;-)

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Saturday, May 15, 2004

My First Ever Drunk Post 

WElcome... to the first ever drunk post.

Folks... the funnies thing in the world just happened about half an hour ago. Well, maybe an hour ago. IN an attempt to perfom some Beyonce type move at a straight club called 'Tonic', I managed to let Man-da-licious try and kick her leg up on to my shoulder so I could drag her across the dance floor. While this seemingly works in movies starring Patrick Swayze, this doesn't work in real life. Man-da-licous got her leg most of the way on my shoulder and just as I started to drag, we tipped - she fell. It was tragic. So tragic in fact, every man in the bar shot a glimpse directly toward her half open vaginal region. Thankfully she wasn't wearing Superman panties. So much for the Manilow Blahniks (yes, I said that correctly... we like to call them the "Barry shoes"). YOu can compare them to Vera Wong ensembles or Versase couture. $400 gets you Manolo Blahniks... $12 on sale, gets you Manilow "Barry" Blahniks. The shoes however, despite the price, were fan-fucking-tastic. Only a women who is part "licious" could get away with them. I love you girl!!!!

JRo, Man-da-licious and I found ourselves at JD's Key Club in Pontiac, this evening. What a hoot (or is that a hoot-in-anny?)! Singing to songs, getting crazy, feeling tig ole bitties, and eyeing out all the straight men is such fun. If it weren't for my girls, I would feel so lost in thsi world. J and M are two of the most fabulous peeps I know... and definitely a gay man's dream come true. I'm amking babies with these girls one day fella's... so back off. Of course the psychic from yesterday states that I will never have kids. In fact, that crazy loon also told me that I have a "drakness" that surrounds me that only she can fix. Of course $150 (cash or check) will fix it. Candles, balls, and some aromatherapy will do it. Sounds like a night of fantastic fucking to me. What the hell do I need a pyshic for? I could get a hot, call boy for the night cheaper than that (I think... I've never had one.... how much do they cost?)

Speaking of that.... If I don't figure out how to make some cold hard cash pretty damn soon, I think I may need to become a call boy. A pretty high priced one too. YOu can't get good ole horsecock for cheap, let me tell you. I figure if looks and a big crank come with the package, I should charge a bit more... don't you think? Not only that... from what I am told, I can fuck with the best of them. Ive got some tricks up my sleeve... ya. Good tricks... the kind that aren't for kids. This is some hard breathing, what the hell just happend to me tricks. Speaking of Trix... what was with that damn rabbit? I never understood him. They definitely manufacture enough cereal to go around... why couldn't the rabbit and the kids just get along? They could have shared. Rabbits share their carrots with us... why can't we share our cereal? It isn't even that good anyway... especially when they added the shapes. It was much better when they were just balls. I like balls. They seemed to float better too.

On that same note... I looked up an old flame today. I don't know why, to be honest. It seems silly that four years later I am still crazy for this guy. Is that really love? Or is it just infatuation? What I wouldn't give for one more night with Christian. Sometimes I fall asleep at night thinking about him. Ocassionally I even shed a tear or two. I'm probably just lonely. According to the psychic, my love live will never be fullfilled. I will always be single and I will die alone. Pleasant thought, isn't it? It certainly doesn't give much hope. Odd thing is that I LOVE to prove people wrong. I'm now wondering if she just told me that because she knew that I would have to do the opposite of what she said just because that is who I am? I may never know. One thing is for sure... I'll marry some hot bitch chica, before I'll die alone. Honestly, she doesn't even have to be hot... just as love as she wants to be around me. No need to worry, because that Iis why gay men have straight girlfriends, right?

Does any of this make sense? OMG... I'm tired. This should be fun to read in the morning.

Can we have an orgy in my sleep? For those of us that wish to masturbate to porn in public places... we can't get arrested in the dream world... but then again... why masturbate when you can have anyone? I think I'll have the cute boy from JD's (from the table right in front of us), Naethyn because he gives good head, the cute hobbit guy from Lord of the Rings (I think his name is Dominic something) and Ashley Judd (just for some adventure)... three's a crowd... but four's a party.

MMMMmmm... SWEET DREAMS to me.

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Thursday, May 13, 2004


When creative people start getting technical savvy, the world should be afraid.

Yes folks... I singlehandedly installed HARDWARE and SOFTWARE on my computer today. Not only that... but it works!!! I'm proud to say that it didn't require technical support from an outside source, nor did it require calls to my father or any of my ex boyfriends. I did it all by myself. I'm impressed... as should you be! I am now fully wireless!!! Who's your mother-fucking daddy?

I didn't even ruin my manicure (or my pedicure for that matter).

I have to celebrate now by downloading some good internet porn and masturbate to fantasies of my hot straight romance.

More to CUM tomorrow..... (it's getting late and the dentist is expecting me tomorrow morning).



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Tuesday, May 11, 2004

My Newest Achievement 

I am proud to admit that I am the newest recipient of a "Fuck Buddy". It may sound bizarre, but I have never had an official "fuck buddy" before. Granted if you look back in time, I have had several men in my life that were considered fuck buddies. The only difference - we never had the official discussion announcing that we were only sleeping together for the pleasure part, not the relationship part.

I know... you want details.

Of course Sunday was mother's day. My stepmother managed to be gone all day with her mother, leaving my dad, sister and I to fend for ourselves. We all assumed that she would at least be home for dinner, but even that didn't happen. My father and my sister ended up getting "Toxic Hell" (which I REFUSED to consume). I ended up eating left over spaghetti. I spent a few hours with my step mom, but it was nothing special. I have to say that I was glad that both my step mom and my mom received the cards I mailed for them in time! PHEW! I'm glad the good ole post, didn't let me down!

As usual, I got conned in to driving my sister back to Ann Arbor. Deep down I was really glad that I was offered the tasking duty. I had plans for myself... plans that involved Mr. Sassmaster himself - Naethyn.

Driving half way across Michigan (or so it seemed in the downpour of the century), we finally arrived in Ann Arbor around 10:30pm. I had called Naethyn around 9 pm, just before we left, to tell him that I was going to be in the area and maybe we could catch a movie. Of course he didn't answer, but then again, do you expect people like Naethyn to answer on the first call. After all... he is a busy sassmaster. ;-)

I spent the next hour and a half watching "Working Girl" with my sis. I was desperately trying to pass the time, because I knew as soon as I left Ann Arbor that is when Naethyn was going to call. At one point, I even borrowed my siblings phone to call him (thinking that if he wasn't answering my calls that he might answer a random number... I didn't leave a message). Just a little before midnight my phone rang and it was Naethyn. He had just gotten back in to Detroit from Atlanta and he was "really hoping" that I hadn't bailed town yet. Later sis...

Close to 12:30am, I finally arrived at Naethyn's apartment. I felt like the biggest, icky scrub in the world. I hadn't prepared for a "date" at all. Thankfully the previous Friday night I shaved all those strategic places (you never know when you might end up in Mr. Right's bed). I know that I looked cute... I just don't really care for the whole facial hair thing on me. Who knows... maybe Naethyn likes it?

Upon arrival he greeted me with a huge smile and a big hug. He poured me a glass of Pinot Grigio and we sat down and chatted for a bit. Thirty minutes in to the conversation, Naethyn walked over to me, sat down on my lap facing me, and asked me "so, what are your plans?" Initially I took this, for what it was - him asking me if I was staying the night, or going home. I responded by removing a contact case from my hoodie pocket. This is when the tone of the conversation changed. Naethyn was really asking me what my plans for him and I were.

The next twenty minutes or so we spent discussing (very broadly - using the "beat around the bush" terminology), what him and I are. In between a lot of smiles and a bit of giggling, we determined that the distance between us combined with his desire to move to Atlanta in December was too much to try to start and maintain a relationship. I honestly wasn't sure how to respond at first, but then I just busted it loose.

"Can we still 'play'?"

The next three hours was spent having what definitely ranks in the top ten of my most wonderful sexual experiences. I'm not one for talking during sex (for fear of sounding cheesy)... but I even mentioned at one point in between sounds of sexual ecstasy, how much I enjoyed his oral pleasuring skills. After a quick shower, it was bedtime.

Monday afternoon we finally woke up and went and grabbed something to eat. We ate at this wonderful place in downtown Ann Arbor called "Zingermans". I think I really scored big points on this one because they had quite an extensive vegetarian menu, and with the boy being a veggie-eater, I think he appreciated the gesture. What I can't quite figure out is whether or not that stuff matters with the fuck buddy? Ohh well. I'll do whatever it takes to have a great sex. Isn't life wonderful? If only he didn't have the dog...

I finally arrived back to Royal Oak, sometime around 3pm. I felt like ass (even though I miraculously didn't smell like it). I have a feeling the people at the tanning salon were wondering what the hell happened to me. Once home, I spent the next 2 hours plucking, shaving and primping for Jenny's band concert.

Band concert? It sounds strange to some, but JRo is actually a trumpet player in the South Oakland Concert Band. The same band that Geoff (if you remember him from a while back) is in. Besides that we were having dinner at Pronto! and I was hoping to run in to Anthony (the cute waiter from a week ago). Looking cleanly shaven and fairly sassy (in a cute Armani shirt from "Larry") I was off to start my evening.

I met my girls (Mark, JRo and Man-da-licious) at Pronto! for a quick bite to eat. The definite highlight of the evening (Sorry JRo) was when Jenny made the comment that she hates birds (we were sitting in the outdoor patio). Not five minutes later, a bird flew by and shit on her arm. The bird dung hit her at such force that it splattered all over the table - luckily missing Mark and I. With no harm done and a few skids marks on the Costco picture envelope, the event gets stored in the funniest moments of all time archive.

Arriving at the band concert, I immediately turned on the "ex-lover" radar. I wanted to spot Geoff, before he spotted me, just so I had the advantage. Sure enough, I was successful. I honestly think that he was surprised to see me, but then again I wonder if he didn't expect that I was going to be there. I figured out of embarrassment for his actions that he would ignore me like the plague, but much to MY surprise, he came over, chatted with me, but not only that, he set up camp on the chair next to mine. See, Geoff is not in the swing band, but JRo is - so Geoff sat next to me during the swing band performance. He kept looking at me in such a cute way; I almost couldn't take it anymore. I really wanted to escort him to the high school locker room and fuck him like there was no tomorrow... but thankfully, I took care of the earlier in the day and didn't need the release.

The entire concert was wonderful. I really enjoy listening to live music of any kind. I still find it absolutely amazing that each little instrument contributes to one huge, spectacular sound. I really enjoyed "silently" rooting for JRo, exchanging glances with Geoff (which were plentiful), singing along to all the feature film scores they were playing, as well as how comforting it was to know that I was surrounded by people in this world that care about me on so many different levels. I'm not sure why things like band concerts bring out feelings of emotional joy, but they do. I felt loved last night at the band concert. I felt part of a bigger picture.

Quote of the night...

During the band concert, the director of the band stated in his opening remarks for a piece they were playing, stating "I know I am dating myself here, but how many of you remember..."

I quietly responded with:

"I wish I could date myself."

Monday evening concluded with JRo, Mark and I watching "The Swan" on Tivo. Three friends doing what we do best... being friends!

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Sunday, May 09, 2004

Does this surprise anyone? 


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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Thursday, May 06, 2004

Where to begin... 

I feel like it has been ages since I gave you a valuable update about my life. I suppose the easiest place to start is why I had to temporarily stop blogging.

Due to my lack of computer at home, I was always forced to blog at work. I initially started the blogging thing to keep me busy on those days that I sat at my desk falling asleep due to extreme boredom. I found it kept me busy and alert - and to be honest - excited about life (in a rather not so exciting work environment. It was never intended to become a place of vicious, malicious, corporate-hating slurs. According to one "victim" of my seemingly verbal outbursts, it did.

In the best interest of keeping my readership informed, you'll notice that I posted several entries about random emails that I received from a person who claimed to be my secret admirer #2. It turns out that secret admirer #2, is actually a "hater". The "hater" kind that attempts to get people fired.

You see, secret admirer #2 thought it would be "cute" to report me to management for my blog. What secret admirer didn't realize in doing so was that all the emails that "they" were sending internally from inside our office building are traceable just like my Internet history and outlook express accounts are traceable. Of course if you read the emails that secret admirer #2 sent to me, you'll notice that some of them are quite threatening. It was in my best interest of course to inform my supervisor and the department manager that I felt threatened by the emails (by the way which were from an anonymous person using my name on a fake hotmail account). While I may have been banned from personal emails and going on the Internet for anything other than business reasons, I have in turn managed to become a seemingly more productive employee. Don't get me wrong folks... I did my job and I did it well before, I'm just exceeding expectations now. Thank you secret admirer #2. You've actually done me a favor. Now you better watch your ass. ;-)

More interesting than that... I wonder if my department manager enjoyed anything in my blog? I was told in "the meeting" that my entire journal was read from start to finish (something I am not sure if most of you have even done - hell I've never even gone back and read any of my old entries!!) I would find it hard to believe if my DM didn't giggle at least once.

Obviously I have found a lot of free time at work to work on special projects. I've been tracking job related issues that are reoccurring; have set up spreadsheets and documentation to support my findings; and I really look forward to presenting the materials to management. I've also found time to read the most important book in my life... The Associated Press "Stylebook". Just when you think you know everything... you realize that you don't even know half of everything. I found the chapter on libel to be very informative. This is especially important since every supervisor that I ever wrote about in my blog, received the link to my site where I wrote about them. In the future, you'll notice that nothing will be mentioned about my "job" - at least posts that specifically describe people at work, or something stupid that management has done.

Over the past few weeks, we have been going through a transition period at work. My current employer successfully lost the contract for the business that we run and a new company will be taking over in late June. Things have been shaky dealing with severance packages, benefits, wages, etc. I have yet to make a decision if I will make the transfer over to Company B, considering I specifically took the job with Company A, because I was promised a future with Company A - I just had to start at the bottom and work my way up. All of this is quite disappointing to say the least. I'm just glad to say that I still have a job.

The dating life has been quite odd in the recent weeks. As all of my friends predicted, my vow of celibacy did not last quite as long as I had intended it to. I really had the best intentions to maintain my oath, however wine with dinner and several martini's just let that barrier fall faster than the Berlin wall. I have to admit that the boy gives great head. I am sure that we have all had those experiences where you dated someone that gave you head you'll never forget. The speed is just right, the rhythm is perfect, and the mouth is just the right size. The kind of head that you think about and compare to every time someone after that attempts to achieve the same level of perfection. Well... Naethyn achieved perfection. Since I can't ever get it from "that special guy again", I now have someone else to look forward to. Thankfully "N" and I are still chatting and still planning conjugal visits (even though we haven't came for round two yet).

Last Saturday N and I were supposed to have official date number two (which we both were quite excited for), however his dog had to be brought to the vet for kidney stones. I thought this was sneaky trick number one to blow me off... but immediately he followed the excuse with, "can we reschedule for lunch on Monday?" While I was excited about the new "date", I was slightly disappointed that my lunch break is only 1 hour. Grrrr.... I suppose "that" will have to wait until date number three.

Being that my date was cancelled I decided to voyeur off with Mark and JRo on their scheduled evening of planned events.

We started off at Pronto! with drinks. With a full pack of smokes (each) and enough money to buy a small army drinks... we started the fun. Not long into the evening, and old flame entered the area of that bar that we chose to reside in. Who can it be now? Ex flame, Paul. Some of you may have noticed in the comments in my guest book from someone by the name of Paul from Lansing who left kind words of encouragement. Same guy. Oddly enough, when I ran in to him in person, he didn't say a word. Even though I could sense a bit of animosity in the air, I couldn't help but notice how fuckable he still is. My guess is that he lost some weight. Good for you Paul. Hopefully you've also worked on balancing your checkbook! ;-)

My personal philosophy about bar nights in Michigan is, "rain, sleet, hail or snow... in April... won't stop me from a good night of debauchery." All I have to say is that it wasn't raining men on Saturday night... it was fucking RAINING water. Lot's of it in fact. Thankfully the tragic bar we were at in the ghetto of Detroit, made the three of us look fabulous - even wet.

Gigi's the infamous cabaret in Detroit, hosts a wonderful gaggle of drag queens even Ru Paul would be proud of. Being that we entered the downstairs club slightly after the show began, we were able to get a seat - in the front row! As a matter of fact, I think JRo got knocked in the head by a few fake titties a few times. Losing toenails and being bruised by implants is typical for my fellow mates. I'm still wondering if the midget in the back of the room was part of the decor, or if he was one of the drag queens props? I may never know the answer to that question. Just like I may never know why Matt (the attractive guy at the table next to us) has lost my number twice. After impressing a cute lesbian girl by picking her up and letting her thrust into my groin for a few minutes of dancing to "Toxic", the "bad-ass" threesome departed the ghetto and made it safely back to what we consider suburbia.

Sunday morning was yet another experience at Pronto!. Mark, JRo and I met for brunch. I knew it was going to be an interesting day when I got caught by a train only moments from my restaurant destination. Of course, I was not to be delayed by a slow moving mobile device, so I sped through Royal Oak - busting through stop signs, cutting off traffic - all in an attempt to get to the other side of the city before the train did. Much to my dismay... I learned that all of the barriers go down at the same time in the city regardless of the distance the train is from them. I was tempted to drive around the barricade, however I figured my friends would understand.

After my arrival and the order of the best damn omelet north of Kentucky, I noticed just how attractive one of the wait staff members is at Pronto!. This is when I took notice of Anthony. JRo made it a point to point out that Anthony is much more attractive than Matt and that I should totally go for him. I was quite shocked when Anthony also took notice of me. I'm not sure if it was the sassy comments we exchanged or the runway show I was performing in the aisle, but he managed to get my number. I'm still waiting for the phone to ring... I can only hope that he has made a rule not to date customers. I hope to be the exception.

Tuesday turned out to be an interesting day when Brad my ex came over to hook up the wireless Internet for Ang and I. I wasn't quite sure whom else to turn to. I attempted to figure all this technology out myself - but apparently it was too much for me to handle. Who knew that a PCI Adapter 2.0 USB port is not the same thing as a PCI Adapter Wireless Card? I sure as hell didn't. Brad knows the difference. That's why I still have his number.

I have to admit that I felt kind of like a tool. I didn't say much to him while he was here only because his presence makes me slightly uncomfortable. A part of me wanted to jump him just to see if he would still sleep with me, another part of me wanted to slap him for being such a dickhead the last few months we were together. The classy part of me winked, nodded and thanked him for a job well done. I LOVE being an adult. So much goes on behind the scenes - hence the point of this blog! ;-)

Well... as much as I still have to tell you all - I think it is time for bed. It's good to be back!!!



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Tuesday, May 04, 2004

I'm back!! 


I'm back and better than ever.

Rather than diving in and posting about all the shit that has been going on lately (that an all the rather fun and exciting things), I've decided to dedicate this entry to the things in life that I am thankful for. I'd honestly like to see more of this in the blog world. Often times we tend to focus on the things in life that are in our "focus", but many times we fail to sit back and really evaluate what makes life so wonderful - other than those things on the surface. With that said... here goes....

I couldn't be more thankful for such a loving family.
The biggest influence in my life today is my stepmother. She is one of the most amazing individuals that god had the pleasure of creating. Ten years ago she took on the challenge of dating a divorced man with two children, a house in the suburbs and the grueling task of dealing with a very jealous ex-wife. At 28 years old, this isn't the type of thing that you normally seek. A divine young woman of that age should be seeking that single guy with big dreams, fast cars and a bank account that could buy the biggest, most fabulous diamond engage ring. Well two years later, she got the 2-carat diamond engagement "rock", but I couldn't help but always think what she was giving up to get it.

The biggest question over the years from many people was of course, "what about children?" You would think that a young woman of 28, always dreamed of the big fancy wedding, the pregnancy, the baby shower, the birth, etc. Instead my step mom got my dad, a "used" home, and two brats that already have a mother in common. It hadn't really hit me until recently just how powerful my stepmother's response was to everyone who asked the "children" question.

"I already have the only two children, I'll ever need".

I couldn't be more thankful for that response.

My dad has always been a hard-ass. Since I can remember her has seemingly always had a "bad attitude" when it came to everything. The things I thought he would say no to immediately were generally the things he let me do, and the things I thought for sure he would let me do were the things he said no to. I never really understood what the fuck that meant. Being the not so nurturing type, my father always seemed to be very distant, but at the same time was very involved in everything that my sister and I did. Soccer practice, Boys Scouts, piano lessons, confirmation, camping trips, etc., were always being arranged and planned. While I didn't know it at the time, my father was setting me up to become an adult (even at such an early age as 12). I look at other people my age and I don't quite understand sometimes what is going on in their heads. I don't understand how a 25 year old adult hasn't figured out how to cook, clean, balance a check book, do laundry, have an educated conversation... and in the worst cases, figure out how to live on their own. Obviously the above isn't true for everyone, however I can't thank my father enough for giving me the opportunity to grow up and become a man. He may have been quite an asshole on occasion, but then again, I'm thankful for that too. It taught me to be strong. I realize now that he always wanted me to have the best of everything. He wasn't purposely being mean and nasty, he was just being the best father he could be. That I am most thankful for.

My little sister has always been my best friend. While we are growing apart just a tad now that she is in school, I still feel like we are very close. Sometimes I don't understand what the hell she is doing or thinking, but then again I realize that she is on her way to becoming a strong-willed, powerful woman (I just hope that she makes it!!! LOL). One of the most memorable stories of my life is the day my sister was born. At five years old, being in the delivery room watching a child see the world for the first time was an amazing experience (although I don't quite remember it). When my sister was born, I was the first person in the world to hold her. The experts always say that a child has a special bond with their mother... well, my sister must have developed that bond with me (seeing that I was the first person she locked eyes with). At five I didn't understand exactly what a wonderful thing a child is, but at 25 I realize that there is nothing more special than the bond between brother and sister. A bond that I can proudly say is strong and emotionally incredible. From day one, my sister has given me the love and support that one can only wish for. That deserves many thanks!

WOW... I didn't realize that this was going to be so lengthy. I'm finding myself editing as I am going, just because I have so much to say and I feel like this could go on forever. That is a good thing, right? I'll try and keep it shorter from here on in...

I'm thankful for:

- For being the best friends I could ever ask for. If I could express in words how much you all mean to me, I would. The eight of you have proven time and time again, how valuable and irreplaceable you are. I've said this before and I'll say it again... A wise woman once told me "In your lifetime you will have many friends, but if you make it through life having one TRUE friend, you are a truly lucky person." Many of you I can call true friends... I'm lucky.

I'm also thankful for:
my shitty job
my nice warm, soft, queen size bed
my new car
the food in my refrigerator
waking up to the life that I created
clean laundry
spring showers
summer breezes
fall leaves
winter snowflakes
stalkers at work (as much of a pain in the ass as they can be)

and most of all... me. I'm thankful to be alive.

Ohh yeah... I'm thankful to all of you who choose to read this bullshit. ;-)

Umm okay... so its all true...

but I am still thankful for all of you!

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Sunday, May 02, 2004

I'm due to return soon.... 


I do sincerely apologize for the delay in my return to the blogging world. I've felt like a piece of me is missing lately; not sharing my world with you. What I miss most is reading all your blogs! I feel sooo - left in the dust.

I have lot's to tell --
- the Naethyn update... including what it takes to break a "vow"... open wide pretty boy!
- some new men to introduce including Matt and Anthony...
- an update on my employment status (yes I am still employed, and thanks to SA#2 am working on extra projects at work that are slowly but surely gaining recognition as well as repairing my relationship with my supervisor and department manager)
- details on how I single-handedly attempted to hook up wireless internet (and ended up calling my ex for help)
- my run-in with my ex Paul (several times lately) and his opinion on my blog
- my new haircut (the lady calls it Urban... I call her crazy!!)
- The Mercedes Benz that crashed into Somerset Collection while I was getting my "hair did"
- the disappointing news from Entertainment Publications
- what Bean-o is really used for...

Yes folks... I will return.... hopefully by this time next week. Isn't life fun? I miss you guys!!!

Peace, Love... and Sexual Gratification!

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Sunday, April 25, 2004

Temporary Sabbatical 

I'll be back and regularly posting as soon as possible. I'm just trying to avoid getting fired! Details to follow.....

Please miss me....

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Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Titillating Tuesday 

Yesterday evening began yet another chapter in the dating diary of "Yours Truly" (well actually Saturday evening began the introduction, however last night was the official beginning of the body). Just as I sat down to watch “The Swan” my phone rang. Slightly irritated that one of my friends obviously was not paying attention to the clock and called during my show, I glanced at my phone to see whose ass I needed to kick later. Much to my surprise it was Naethyn. I instantly apologized to myself for expressing internal displeasure toward the new hot commodity in my life. Gleefully, I answered with a nice sexy “hello”. I was so excited to hear from that it took me 15 minutes to realize that he sounded like he was on the verge of a horrible death. Poor guy. According to the source he wasn’t feeling very well on Saturday, but he decided to venture out on the town for an evening of fun with his buddies. Thankfully. Had he stayed home, I wouldn’t be writing this entry right now. On Sunday he woke up feeling like death honed in on his soul: and he has had a minor speech impediment due to cloudy sinuses ever since.

Naethyn and I chatted for about 15 minutes before he offered to let me go to watch my television show. I felt this was sort of a silly thing to hang up on a cute boy for, but he said he had some things to do anyhow and that I was more than welcome to call him back at 10pm. Never passing up an opportunity to get what I want and still make everyone pleased, I sealed the deal and we disconnected.

As much as I enjoy watching “The Swan”, I couldn’t wait to call back Naethyn. I had so many questions that needed answers. In my opinion one of the more lovely aspects of dating is the anticipation involved in getting to know someone. The other person is so mysterious, leaving me so vulnerable. Perhaps my dating problem is that I want to get to know people too quickly, but then again, I do not see that as a problem. I actually find it to be an incredible attribute when someone is excited about getting to know me.


I ended up talking with Naethyn for several hours last night. I learned quite a bit about the new shining star. It makes me happy to know that someone has a genuine interest in learning more about me as a person, rather than just wanting to sleep with me. He didn’t seem turned off at all that I have vowed to myself that my dating relationships will not be sexual. He actually stated it was quite admirable and that he completely understands why I made the decision I did. I just hope that our date on Friday night goes really well and that the overwhelming temptation I have to sleep with him will be under control. It makes it especially hard knowing that he thinks I am “smokin’ hot”. Quite a compliment: in my book.

One thing that Naethyn mentioned that took me off guard is that I was not very discreet in my ways of flirting. I thought I was being tactful, but I guess not. He admitted that he enjoyed me watching him from afar, however it was quite obvious that I was interested. Well… that just proves that I have been doing something right all along! LMAO.

Well, now that it is the end of the workday (almost) and my “strict policy abiding” bitch of a supervisor yelled at me for using Microsoft Word today and also reprimanded me indirectly for having a “non-professional” conversation (when in fact less than twenty minutes ago I could hear her fifty feet away laughing out loud, obviously not discussing work related issues – what a double standard!). This is the same woman who forced me to close down internet explorer because I was reading the Detroit News online (even though EDS policy clearly states that it “permits the occasional use of the internet for persons reasons” if it does not interfere with work responsibilities, etc. I am pretty confident that means that once I have completed all the tasks that I have for the day, and exhausted every opportunity to assist others (when that option is available), that I am allowed to surf the internet as long as it does not involve pornographic materials or something that could potentially cause a disruption in the workplace. BITCH. I’ve decided at this point that I am not going to fight the internet bull, however I think using Microsoft Word is a part of my job and to tell me that I am not allowed to use it and I must “shut it down” is crap. As a matter of fact a majority of the forms and documents I have to use are formatted to Internet Explorer and are located on various intranet sites. I am so irritated right now. I can’t wait to go tanning!

Even better, I can’t wait to chat with my Crunch tonight! LOL... even though I adore Toddy, I linked him because he created the word... ;-)

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